All Posts by Mat Jeffery

Engineering Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm

noun

  • Intense and eager enjoyment, interest, or approval.
  • Having or showing great excitement and interest.
  • an individual's level of excitement, passion, and positive energy towards life experiences and interactions with others.

  • The Secret Sauce to Living Powerfully

    "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." This raises the question: Would you ever choose to be without it? From your employees, employer, friends, family, postman or plumber – would you want to interact with anyone lacking this vital spark?

    At its core, enthusiasm combines energy and love. It's that powerful force transforming ordinary moments into extraordinary experiences. What if you could master the art of engineering enthusiasm? Imagine approaching every project, task, or situation with genuine excitement. How much more effective and enjoyable would your actions become?

    The Science of Enthusiasm

    Enthusiasm isn't just a mood – it's a positive vibration in our state of being, a response to the internal stories we create about our situations. Take a rainy day, for instance. You can either wrap up warm and snug, walking your dog with enthusiasm, or stand inside looking out miserably and negatively about how life is always against you.

    The beautiful truth is that this internal response is within our control. Our energy flows from the stories we've written, shaped by our past experiences, education, and environment.

    The Contagious Nature of Energy

    Think of enthusiasm like wireless charging for your soul. Spend time in close proximity to positive people, and you'll find your energy lifting to higher vibrations. The reverse is equally true – as you put it, "get the f@#k away from anyone negative" as in an overpowering negative environment, you'll be brought down if you're not careful.

    Igniting Your Enthusiasm

    Enthusiasm burns like a fire inside, serving as a pilot light for action. The art lies in keeping it alight. Just as a fire starts with a spark, enthusiasm often begins with small actions:

    1. Jump straight into action - it's like jump-starting a car, the quickest way to get moving
    2. Start with something small you can approach enthusiastically
    3. Build gradually - like tending a fire, avoid suffocating your enthusiasm by adding too much too quickly

    Practical Tools for Engineering Enthusiasm

    Here are some powerful questions to spark your enthusiasm:
    - What song could instantly lift your energy?
    - What small action could you take right now with complete enthusiasm?
    - If your enthusiasm were a fire, what would be its fuel?
    - List the why in what you want (positive motivation)
    - List the why in what you don't want (negative motivation)

    To maintain and grow your enthusiasm:
    - Define clear goals and the steps to achieve them
    - Draw strength from positive experiences and role models
    - Practice gratitude daily
    - Perform random acts of kindness
    - Choose your perspective consciously
    - Surround yourself with enthusiastic people

    Taking Action

    Today, challenge yourself to:
    1. Identify one area where your enthusiasm needs rekindling
    2. Take one small, enthusiastic action in that direction
    3. Notice how your energy shifts and affects those around you

    Engineering enthusiasm isn't about maintaining constant high energy – it's about consciously cultivating and directing your positive energy where it matters most.

    As Henry Ford noted, "Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes shine to the stars."

    What will you choose to be enthusiastic about today?


    Quote 
    "Do everything like you loved it"

    Mike Tyson

    Questions to help you think differently:

    Questions to help?

    • List the why in what you want +
    • List the why in what you don't want -
    • If your enthusiasm was a fire, what would be the fuel?


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    Black & White for a Colourful Life

    Black and white

    adjective
    (of a situation or debate) involving clearly defined opposing principles or issues.
    "it was all grey areas; no black-and-white certainties"

    Colourful Life

    A "colourful life" is a metaphor for a life that is rich, full, and full of a variety of experiences, interests, and relationships. It can also suggest a life that is lived with authenticity, purpose, compassion, and peace.


    What I mean by black, and white is an absolute law, order, strategy, rule, regulations, boundaries or the north or south pole on a compass.  Something of truth that we can reference as being correct.  Like a recipe for making cake, if you stick to the instructions and follow them methodically, you'll achieve the outcome.  The black and white is the recipe, ingredients, method, equipment you follow from buying the ingredient to washing up, clearing away and presenting your baking goods.  Then sitting down on a Sunday afternoon with a nice cup of tea, feet up by the fire sharing and eating the said cake with loved ones is the colourful life or outcome. 

    It's about keeping clean to the work behind the goals.  We can easily dilute situations into a greyness with emotions and find our self-negotiating with narratives like:

    But I don't feel like it,

    But I don't want to,

    But I would rather …….

    My very first coach had a saying "what does wanting to do, have to do with it?" Pete Cohen

    For a gardener to grow colourful flowers they may use a trellis to supports it, they need to be watered, aligned with sunlight and in an environment with soil that serves it.  The conditions are the black and white, what grows and what we can enjoy is the beauty or fruit that this rewards us with.


    I help client unpack a framework and strategy behind their goals, a map with the steps to move you until your enjoying and living out the colourful life you dreamed of.  This could be a simple step to smiling again or many that move you towards playing music, writing a book or building a house.  Whatever your dreams are, look deeper into the black and white in the strategy that lies behind them.  Remember to keep it simple, and keep up with taking those steps towards it, over, and over again.  

    You don't want to go to the gym, you want to feel and look better.

    You don't want to work the weekend, you want to get on top of things, money or time.

    You don't want to invest in a Coach, you want freedom in health, wealth or happiness.

    You don't want a new employee; you want the time and leverage they will give.

    Acting doesn’t need to be something you want or feel like.  It just must be something you do, happy, sad, motivated or not motivated.

    Good luck, and remember if you don't have a dream, you can’t have a dream come true.

    Quote 
    "Good order is the foundation of all greath things".

    Edmund Burke

    Questions to help you think differently:

    Think of a goal you have

    • Why do you want it? 
    • What would you enjoy if you  achieved it?
    • Who would benefit?
    • What actions are in the black and white element required to move you forward.

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    The Discipline of Surrender

    Surrender

    /səˈrɛndə/

    verb

    1 - stop resisting to an

    enemy or opponent and 

    submit to their authority.

    2 - Give up or hand over (a person, right, or possession), typically on compulsion or demand.

    noun

    1 - the action of surrendering to an opponent or powerful influence.

    We're obsessed with lacking discipline, yet it’s practiced daily.  We brush our teeth, set our alarm, go to work, eat, drink and put the bins out.  Some aren't even pleasant, like wiping our arse…..WHO WANTS TO DO THAT!!!

    Rest assured, we have the ability of being disciplined in habits but only once we‘ve surrender to them.

    Part of personal growth is in the ”letting go” of an old identity, habit or belief.  This surrender allows a new one's to operate that are aligned more appropriately to the outcome.  Behind all my clients goals is an inner stuck element,  is a waiting to be freed, and a need to surrender.

    We think it's a need for more discipline but we're not even there yet, imaging trying to drive a car with the handbrake on and the conflict, stress and strain thats put on the systems because of the ”holding on” element.  We try to increase the power and strain & stress to get movement, but people are living life with this situation in place in many area's of their business and life. They call it the grind, but it's hard, exhausting work  and just like a a motor with the brake on it will cause low performance, stress, conflict, failure, breakdown and  eventually long term reduction life expectancy.

    It’s seen as a weakness,  they lost, surrendering to another opponent, but what if the other opponent was a more powerful habit waiting for you to adopt. Surrendering allowed it to dominate your life in a positive way,  you simply "gave in" and went to the gym, started saving, told your wife you loved her, told a partner your leaving them, asked for help or stopped beating yourself up.

    To live life powerfully, simply surrender to the most powerful course of action. 



    Good luck giving up and letting go to get.

    Quote 
    "The greatness of a man's power is the measure of his surrender".

    William Booth

    Questions to help you think differently:

    • What's a discipline would you surrender into, that would help you move in the right direction?
    • If you were really honest what is the punishment long term that you will be receiving if you keep attached to these actions/non actions?

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    Bullshit Shorts

    aka - Bypass Link  

    An electrical bypass link is a device that redirects power around a piece of equipment to provide an alternate path for electrical current. This allows for continuous power supply during maintenance, testing, or equipment failure.

    As a lift engineer/tester, and when installing lifts, we would fit links in the safety circuit to "trick" the controller to rotate the motor and move the lift so we can install all the equipment up the shaft. The manufacturer of the lift would send instructions on which shorts should be installed.  I call these "shifty shorts", they're not the truth, but what you might call a white lie. We did this because we want to move the lift and use it as a platform to install the equipment in the shaft.  At the end, when everything is complete and all devices have been fitted these shorting links are to be removed.  When we come to run the lift on high speed and walk away, leaving  it in service and automated, we need to prove these features are all working correctly,  any shorting wire left in now becomes a "bullshit shorts" and the lift integrity is at risk if left in.  The system would be untrue and for example the lift doors could be left open and the lift could move away and leave a hole for a small toddler to drop down or cut someone in half.

    We have these links in our own life,  if you've kids at Christmas and Easter every year we let our kids believe certain stories that are untrue, we lie to them but we believe this is acceptable. As they get older however these lies change from being "shifty shorts" to "bullshit shorts" and we remove them to install the truth into our child.  We do this so they fit in, if we left them to talk untruth they may get bullied as they get older.

    Working with clients who want to build a life or business "by design" we will need to identify the "bullshit shorts" that them or their team currently have in place. Just like a lift if we build a system that works correctly we would be able to step back and leave it to run fully compliant to the design. If required we can automate it with systems and people, and build it to run without you to leverage your time or allow you to focus on areas you love with more focus. 

    My job is helping clients to find these shorts they have installed, it's to elevate them to see what they currently can't see.  When this happens and they see clearer they simply get to choose more powerfully.  This is where we start to move our life in the right direction and begin to live more powerfully. 

    If you had to borrow my magic torch and shine it on your life, business, relationships, health and wealth area's…..what would YOU see.  Would it all be running perfectly safe, secure, compliant and optimum, or would there be actions your skipping with a shorting link in.  If I turned things off and stopped you living until you removed all the shorts and took the correct actions where would you start?  Common areas to life are Health, Wealth and Happiness.  Maybe you could score them and then ask what actions/non actions are you avoiding to improve the scores.

    What happens with the links on a lift is if any item that's linked effects the safety it becomes a non conformity and the lift has to stay off until it's resolved. 

    Have you got any bullshit shorts in any area of your life that would be considered a non conformity? 

    Imagine your 100 year old self could be your "life engineer" and came to take a look at how your living, would they call a stop to certain activities? It could be working late instead of spending time with family, or cutting back on spending so you can enjoy a first or second holiday a year?  What about exercise and happiness,  what your 100 year old self want to stop play until you got your shit together and maybe cheered the fuck up?

    What area's of your life, dreams and goals are being compromised by allowing bad habits to be made or good ones postponed or denied.  Saving money, spending money,  going to the gym, getting enough sleep, checking in on a loved ones. It maybe putting of writing that book, taking that weekend to walk in the woods that you dreamed of or getting the paints out and dusting of a canvas to start creating some art that you've had a secret desire to try.

    A good coach should help enlighten your vision to simply see better, to help you build mind-set, habits, a a support network and to remove limiting beliefs to enable you live life powerfully.

    If you think you may have some bullshit shorts hidden in your life and want a FREE no obligation space to see them,  book a 1:1 session with the following link.

    Quote 
    "However much you deny the truth, the truth goes on existing, as it were, behind your back".

    George Orwell

    Questions to help you think differently:

    • What part of your "life by design" is no-compliant?
    • If I removed all your bullshit shorts what action or in action would be the first thing in your day moving forward.  

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    Fault Logging

    Fault Log  

    A fault log is a record of faults that occur in a system and can be used for a variety of purposes.


    With over 30 years working in the lift industry I've transferred the effective systems into my coaching practice.  Fault logs on passenger lifts are a great way to log incidents that compromise the integrity of the systems safety, and maybe even stopped it from working altogether.  When the engineer attends to the lift they access a list with a description and timeline for example "01 - overload device activated - 06.32am - 22.-9.24”. The log gives context to help focus attention in the right direction, and work until back to an optimum & compliant state.  Once resolved we clear the log to capture future incidents, and return the lift to service.

    I use the same process with clients following our Mindset Reset 1 day workshop.   After the workshop I leave them with a clean "fault log" to take away and keep a note of any people, situations, values, moments of conflict, beliefs, thoughts or feelings that take them away from being in their best optimum state on mind.  We schedule a follow up personal 1:1 coaching session to work on areas from the workshop they want to understand further, or they can explore their fault log.  They work on how they've been affected and find ways to grow to avoid it next time.   An example area that’s common to be linked is a lack of self-worth, it effects time management, leadership, overwhelm, integrity, results, as well as general happiness and quality of life in general. 

    You can try recording a fault log for yourself, list times you’re not feeling magic in your job, relationship or life. Write some words about what you are thinking, feeling and use the fault codes below to find what might be behind it. If you log honestly and regularly connections begin to appear in area's, situations, values or beliefs or things that takes you away from your optimum. 

    Fault Codes

    Below are some elements that may come up and effect you in your work or day to day living.  I call these the villains of mind, they trigger our state of mind, taking us away from our optimum.  Only with mastery of mind can we flow and live powerfully:

    Code

    Villain

    Description

    001

    Fear

    An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.

    002

    Conflict

    A struggle of clash between apposing objects, beliefs, values, expectations or agreements

    003

    Narrative

    An account of a tale, event or experience. A story that’s fictional or non-fictional.

    004

    Overwhelm

    To be overcome by an emotion or situation physically or mentally

    005

    Self-abuse

    Behaviour which causes damage or harm to onself

    006

    Self-worth

    The internal sense of being good enough and worthy of love and belonging from others

    007

    Limiting beliefs

    A false or negative assumption about yourself that can prevent you from achieving your goals or moving forward in your life

    008

    Depression

    Feeling sad, down or miserable most of the time

    009

    Anxiety

    Distress or uneasiness of mind, caused by perceived threat of fear of danger or misfortune

    This is where we create the gaps in how your living vs how you would like, love, dream to live this life you have. If you want to master living powerfully you will have to master mind.  It's the space you spend every second of your life. Only then can we be on our way to living free and powerfully.  And just like our physical health, if effected when we put ourselves in adversity, our mental health is the same.  How we measure our level of fitness in both mental and physical is in how quick we can return to an optimum state.

     Now you have something to bring to a free 1:1 Coaching session (link) or book the team on a Mindset Reset workshop

    Quote 
    “ Mistakes are costly and somebody must pay.  The time to correct a mistake is before it is made.  The causes of mistakes are, first, I didn't know, second, I didnt think, third, I didn't care."

    Henry H Buckley

    Questions to help you think differently:

    •  What % of your suffering is self abuse?
    • What is common area's that come up on your fault log.
    • Can you group them?
    • Where do you think the root cause is coming from?
    • Maybe grade them /10 and note what one’s trigger or effect you the most.

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    WAR on Suicide

    WAR (write, act and recieve)  

    Write -

    1. to form or produce written letters, words, or sentences. 

    2.: to compose, communicate by, or send a letter. 

    Act -

    1. take action; do something

    2.: behave in the way specified.

    Receive -

    1. be given, presented with, or paid (something). 

    2.suffer, experience, or be subject to (specified treatment).


    Story...

    A man sits in front of a camera with his young child sitting next to him.  He turns and looks and the child has snot streaming down his nose and onto his chin, it's formed a crust of dried snot that's congealed around his top lip. The man looks at the child, looks at the camera and shrugs. He sais, "what do you do"? He then tips the kids head back, opens his own mouth as far as he can and covers the boy’s nose and top lip. He then proceeds to suck, suck and suck some more.  As he pulls away with a mouth full of snot, he wipes his lips across his son's nose and top lip to completely clear him.

    He then pulls back and swallows once, then twice and then he swallos deep for a third and final time, until everything has gone and his sons face is clear and his mouth is empty.

    I wrote the text above, if you read and engaged with this narrative you would have acted it out in your mind as you processed it.  As a result of my writing skills, the art of your acting, you would have received an experience, a feeling, a sensation from the process.  This story never actually happened, I made it up, but it's an example I use in my workshops Mindset Reset in how the theory of WAR works and effects the quality of our life experience. It's built on this system just like a films are, when you sit and watch a comedy written with a certain narrative, as you act this out it provides an outcome we receive, in the form of joy, happiness, and maybe a giggle (If there are good writers).  We can change the narrative of words along with the music, images and lighting to support the desired outcome.  It's aim could be to deliver a fun loving, joyfully warm love story, a cheeky comedy or a nail biting, pillow hiding, fear driven horror of a film.  The writers change your feelings, by changing where they are coming from in the narrative they create.

    Every single moment of our life is felt and experienced from how we manage this process of our own inner narrative,  it's an art to be mastered.  Your inner narrative controls how you feel, it’s a seed to which when watered (acted) with attention it creates the moments we receive in life, it is the thing that increases the quality of the magic of moments #MOM.

    We can see someone's narrative playing out in front of us, have you ever seen someone holding back a giggle, they're sitting in the feeling received from a thought they're acting out in their head.  These thoughts are creating the energy of joy that’s being received because of the way we Think & Believe. 

    If we don’t control it, the narrative runs our day to day, like a wild ball that tramples all over our life, scribbles all over our beautiful thoughts like a childish bully.

    Suicide is the result of a story, a story that's been written over time.  A seed that's been planted and watered.  A story that's been written and acted out daily.  One that's eventually provided an outcome received that feels so bad, so negative, so powerfully awful to live with, someone would choose to jump from a bridge, hang from a rope or put a gun to our head and blow our fucking brain out to get away from it. 

    Around 20 years old I found myself at the top of a cliff planning suicide.  My story written and acted was overwhelmingly saying how utterly…. utterly…utterly! useless I was.  A failure, a letdown, an embarrassment.  I had travelled down the line of less than and bounced around at the end of the line alone.  No one around me knew, I acted out another story to everyone else but inside I was falling deeper and deeper into despair. This is where my self-development journey started, and my first conscious course correct happened.  Along this slow journey out I came across a wonderful group and workshop run by Richard Wilkins.  We spent a week in a group workshop talking and working on the subject they called “the script”.  I passed with flying colours and was awarded Superhero status and I now include what I call the “narrative” as a subject in my MMA Mastery under the section Mindset. 

    If you’ve found yourself writing a narrative that doesn’t serve you or that’s lead you down the path to consider suicide or self-harm in any option, then why not stop!  Consider using that creativity in writing and reverse engineer a different story that produces a different feeling.  

    What's something that would allow you receive the gift of a giggle?

    Quote 

    “People need a narrative, and if there isn't one on offer, they make one up."

    Jean Hanff Koreltz

    Questions to help you think differently:

    • What areas of your narrative could do with re writing?
    • What area of your life would like to change? And what change in narrative could help the situation?
    • What narrative have you adopted from your parents or family that serves you well?
    • What narrative have you adopted from your parents of family that does not serve you well?

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    The line of less than

    less than

    adjective

    having a smaller number or amount than

    phrase of less

    far from; certainly not. "Mitch looked less than happy"

    You use less than to say that something does not have a particular quality.

    For example, if you describe something as less than perfect, you mean that it is not perfect at all.

    [emphasis]

    Her greeting was less than enthusiastic.

    Her advice has frequently been less than wholly helpful.

    Self-Worth is fundamental for someone to live a powerfully purposeful life.  Our optimum state is “enough”, no more, no less.  Unfortunately, our value of self is an inside job that only we control, growing up it can unknowingly get damaged, tarnished, distorted by other people’s opinions and the way they treat us. Our society and the people we spend time with, affect our inner integrity, and over time can this can be diluted until suddenly we begin to make decisions and choose from a value of “less than” enough.

    I like to explain self-worth like the London underground.  Taking my kids into London when young we said if you ever find you’re traveling in the wrong direction:

    • STOP!! 
    • cross the platform 
    • and return 🙂  

    Although it takes time to master in mindset we can do the same anytime we find ourselves choosing from a place of less than. First stop is "negative thoughts", you loose hours, days and the best part of your life in this area. 

    On the tube this can take time, but the truth is once you realise you’ve stepped down the line of “less than” in life, you can return like Dorothy in the Wizard of oz.  She tapped her feet and said, “there’s no place like home”.  We can do the same, as we realise, we’ve been choosing something less than.  As you start to master this and you catch yourself you can stop, smile and then return to a place of choosing from a place of enough.

    Another stop is “self-abuse” which takes you off to places such as overeating, self-harm, self-sabotage and many others. These elements in life can only be found through the line of less than. Would you choose that for someone you loved unconditionaly, so why do you accept it for you?

    You may know someone with money, status that appears somehow "more than" you.  They may seem powerfully loud as they speak, drive their convertible around so everyone can see, flash expensive watch’s and desperate to tell everyone what their next big venture or purchase is. The truth is "more than" is a myth and something only found from the line of less than.  If you were enough you wouldn’t need to stand on tip toes to appear bigger.  You would simply be enough!! No more, no less, in whatever, wherever and with whoever you are in life.

    The last stop……. suicide.  


    The ultimate form of self-abuse is for someone to take their own life.  Self-value becomes so little and or internal abuse so great that a decision is made to terminate life seems the best course of action. 

    Over time the distance we've created from the truth of enough and self care and our state of mind seem a million miles away.

    Most of us were taught that being on this line was normal, acceptable, part of life and we find stratagies to cope with it.  We’ve attachments to the drama that goes on down there and find ourselves slipping onto it all too easily. 

    All roads lead to freedom.....

    Self-love, happiness, empathy, wealth, peace of mind are all treasures you can access, but only from a place of enough.  Just like Dobey in Harry Potter who was enslaved to a master.  Only after being set free was he able to access joy and the positive things in life.

    Why not treat yourself to the permision to choose "Enough" for you and the decisions you make in life. 

    Quote

    “Be who you are and say what you feel, 

    because those who mind don’t matter,

    and those who matter don’t mind”

    Bernard M. Baruch

    Questions to help you think differently:

    • How would you choose if you was coming from the line of enough?
    • When thinking about a situation you feel maybe clouded with a lack of self-worth.  Ask yourself If you had a child or someone that you loved unconditionally, what would you choose for them to have or feel in that situation?

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    Getting through, your boo hoo


    Boo Hoo
    NOUN Word forms: plural -hoos2. (sometimes plural)

    The sound of crying.

    1 - "Boo hoo!" cried Lisa after she misplaced her saxophone.

    (used ironically, spoken as an ordinary word) it is not worth crying about, an expression of contempt

    2 - So, you broke it. Boo hoo! Get a grip and clean up the mess.

    We're born, we crawl, we stand, waddle, walk and eventually we run.….and then what?


    We go to play school, little school, big school, college or university.….and then what?


    We make friends, join clubs, take exams, learn to drive,  get jobs, get laid, we turn 18, were all "grown up"…and then what?

    Parents, grandparents, teachers, family and friends inspire, coach, push, mentor or simply ordered us to work through any pain and fears to “grow up” in life. We step up through resistance and stretched through, to another level in some form or another.  This goes on over and over until we’ve reached a “certain standard” in life. Alone we'd have turned away, given up, taken our time, avoided or ignored this work until it went away, or maybe it would never have got done.  Luckily we don't see many 18 years olds crawling around with a dummies, being spoon fed, crying while they wait for food and generally struggling to function “properly” as an adult.  

    Luckily while young, most of us were made to focus, push, endure until we came out the other side, bigger, brighter and all "grown up" apparently….and then what?


    Working on myself or with clients I find as we grow we get to (what I call) the boo hoo's.  This points of uncomfortable stretch that’s the work in taking us further into a new dimensions and depth of self not explored before.  Just like a plant goes down into the dark, damp, depths of resistance to grow, we do the same.  Only then do we reveal hidden depth, beauty, creativity that’s been held within.

    Most of us are actually just like babies in many ways and simply moment’s away from a boo hoo in some form.  It’s the point we hit the thought, beliefs, fears stopping us from growing up that bit little bit further than before.  I may not be talking about a full tantrum throwing ourselves on the floor of a shop screaming and thrashing,  I might not even be talking about a bottom lip quiver or a simple stamping tantrum.  These moments maybe subtle,  an avoidance of a situation, habits required to move you to a dream,  almost shutting your eyes as you pass the gym, moving and hiding the pad you was going to start writing your first book in,  being too busy to apply for promotion, look for a career or role that was more satisfying or aligned but out of your comfort zone.

    Breakthroughs come in moment of a clear pop or slow soft stretches that take us further than we've been before, through to the other side of who we are yet to be. If you think of the person you would like to be, the dreams, desires you seek in life.  Moving towards these will lead you to a choice, this is a choice you can avoid or one you can step up and into and that puts you in a point of stretch.  Like yoga it's about sitting in these limits long enough, simply breathing into the fears or attachments that want us to scream out boo hoo’s.


    Keep going,  if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.

    Quote

    " Fear may seem miles wide, but it's only and inch thick"

    Break through yours!!


    Questions to help you think differently:

    • What's a goal that scares you enough to think or want to cry Mummy?
    • Who would be a powerful mentor that could hold your hand and help you through to achieve a goal you have been putting off?
    • If your still hiding behind your Mummy's skirt in life,  what are you hiding from?
    • What area in your life would you wish your kids (real or imaginary) would grow to breakthrough to go further than you have in life?

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    The “key of me” – Bubblegum Bubblegum

    In tune phrase of tune

    1. In a state in which the correct musical sound is played or sung with correct pitch or intonation. 
    2. In a state in which people are in agreement or harmony with or understand on another. 
    3. Properly adjusted (of an engine or machine)

    A musical instrument holds "potential power", in the hands of mastery it can lift our spirits,  get us dancing & singing with joy or energize us out of bed and help us run a marathon. The right song, note, silence, tone  can open us up, uncovering feelings, memories and emotions and bring us to tears and to cry our hearts out uncontrollably for hours.  

    When played well an instrument in tune, reveals something that’s been waiting to be accessed and enjoyed, it sits waiting for it's potential to be revealed in the mastery of well practiced hands of the player.

    People hold "potential power", just like instruments, waiting to be unpacked and reveal their full potential.  They sit and hold the gifts of Spirit, Humour, Passion, purpose, joy and fun. And when we stay "true to ourselves" we offer the "best of ourselves". These treasured characteristics within are released and set free as ideas, creativity, intellect, insight, charm and Joy. These qualities can add colour, light, hope and love to even the darkest of moments in someone's life.

    We get to see, hear and feel someone as they show up at their best self. When their fully aligned, in tune with themselves

    We see the spark in their eye's as they tell a story or tale, with conviction, passion and fire.  We see the power and determination as they race for the finish line or unpack in perfect flow a combination of punches in a boxing ring.  We see a dance with sexual, sensual grace and fluid elegance on a stage being performed to the world.  

    We feel the soft, tenderness and care as we tuck our kids into bed at night, read them a playful story and kiss them good night.  And we can admire them and listen as they care for a loved one with compassion, patience in a gentle loving way, they take time to make the most painful and vulnerable times for someone in need become bare able, dignified and maybe even fun.

    We hear certainty, clarity, positivity being powerfully communication.  We hear a sense of control, balance,  a synergy that can align, shift and make the most impact of their ability and time.

    In "key with me”

    But just like music we also see, hear and feel someone "not" fully attuned to themselves or in certain situations.  We sense conflict, fear, overwhelmed that vibrates out of someone hindering the potential of the moment. We cringe at the screeching falseness and insecurities that weakens their power to the point of being painfully pathetic.

    Living and playing in this truth of ourselves is an art and dance that we continually battle.  Work, family, marriages, and life in general happens and just like the integrity of the guitar that holds its tune if compromised can lose your true best you in the mess of day to day living, we can do the same.

    When tuning a guitar we need to find a point to reference, something we can tune to so we can resonate to that point of truth. What's a word, method you can use that helps tune you back to the key of you? Something said to remind you of the essence of you.  It can relate to a smell, place or feeling but it whole heartedly sings to your soul as "the key of me".  I picked the word bubble gum,  it reminds me of strawberries, my daughter and feels like a simple joyful word. Bubble gum, bubble gum 1..2..3. Your word maybe more sophisticated or elegant like a fragrance. It may be a wink or whistle, the key is it’s yours and resonates with the "essence of you" that can help you return to.  Try a few out, play around with it and then in times of compromise use it like a singer would checking for sound,  test, test check 1234.  Play around with words until you get something that works. 

    In boxing I used to wink at my sparring partner as we came out of the corner. The cheekiness would bring joy to my soul,  and my shoulders would drop and relax a little, my breathing would calm and settle (even for just a moment) and I would be more of me in the moment and be less in fear.  This didn’t make me a world champion boxer, but it got me closer to the boxer I actually was,  and away from fear and conflict that strangle our potential being.

    Play, play, play….aka LIVE, LIVE, LIVE….

    Once you have begun to master "the key to me" your only job is to play.  You are the instrument in the game of life.  Your job is to be more of you, something we all need to do more of. To actually come out and play the gifts we have been given, to reveal and share the treasure of our true colours that we keep within.  To stand up and be counted, to step out and own what you have been gifted and share to the world.  When some reveals they are gay we call it "coming out" and it's declaration of who they really are.  We all have hidden truths of potential that we hide, afraid of revealing them and the ridicule we may experience if they don't conform to others or society. 

    Questions to help you think differently:

    • What's something you would regret not doing or trying in life if it was all over tomorrow?
    • What's a goal that would make you giggle.  A project, mission that's maybe scary but exciting all the same?
    • If you were hiding your true colours and decided to just fucking do it!! What would it be?

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    Kone Plc

     

    Mat's coaching opened up a side of me that I hadn't previously considered. He taught me to accept my insecurities and use them to grow as a person in my business and personal life.

    Boosting my confidence, ability to speak up, and being more assertive have been the greatest impacts on my life. This has helped me within the business massively.

    Insight: The Magic of Knowing What To Do

     Insight noun

    1. the capacity to gain an accurate and deep understanding of someone or something.

      "his mind soared to previously unattainable heights of insight"

    Coaching enables me to see things from a different perspective, then from another and another. It’s like a mirrored room that allows you to see everything from every angle until your picture is finally one of total truth.

    With hindsight, we can now see how the world is shaped. However, it took years until the ancient Greeks linked the pieces to see the full picture of the Earths shape. It seems funny now that we have a different perspective. How on earth did we not see it? With insight, we get the truth, which helps us navigate better.

    I remember working one Sunday with a team from my lift company in Canary Wharf. I had taken myself away to have my own coaching session over the phone. I started the session by sharing how pissed I was about spending the weekend working on a business that I had no passion for, and my frustration at how long my coaching business was taking to pick up.

    My coach gave me insight to see the truth: I was going the right way. Like traffic in the city, you can spend all your time trying to find shortcuts, but you may have already been on the fastest route. It may be slow, but it’s still the quickest way.

    I approached work that day more like I would traffic. I got a coffee, turned some music on, and enjoyed the ride. The things we see with insight may not change what we do, but they might change how we see what we’re doing and align it better.

    Just like journey planning, the course needs to be reviewed. Gaining insight allows this to be done effectively. Are you just in traffic and traveling on the right route? If we gave you some insight, what would you see differently? Would you course correct on a different journey to live your life by design rather than default?

    Are you actually lost and wasting time whistling out the window when you could be changing direction? In our day-to-day lives, it's often hard to get this insight as we have our heads down and moving unconsciously. One of the things insight does is wake us up and make us look at things from a different perspective. When you have a map, or a system, to help you navigate your life, finding faults and improving them becomes easier.

    Traveling with a map and compass provides insight into where you are and where you want to be. Consider the vision and clarity you have while navigating through your life. Ask yourself the following questions to see if you're living by design or default.

    Questions to help you think differently:

    • If I gave you a magic wand how would you change your life? If so how and what would you do differently?
    • If you only had a year to live, what 20% would you do less of and what 20% would you do more of in your life?
    • What activities would you continue to do even if you weren't paid?

    FREE 1:1 SESSION 

    TRY BEFORE YOU BUY

    Kone Plc

     

    Mat's coaching opened up a side of me that I hadn't previously considered. He taught me to accept my insecurities and use them to grow as a person in my business and personal life.

    Boosting my confidence, ability to speak up, and being more assertive have been the greatest impacts on my life. This has helped me within the business massively.