If we don’t control it, the narrative runs our day to day, like a wild ball that tramples all over our life, scribbles all over our beautiful thoughts like a childish bully.

Suicide is the result of a story, a story that's been written over time.  A seed that's been planted and watered.  A story that's been written and acted out daily.  One that's eventually provided an outcome received that feels so bad, so negative, so powerfully awful to live with, someone would choose to jump from a bridge, hang from a rope or put a gun to our head and blow our fucking brain out to get away from it. 

Around 20 years old I found myself at the top of a cliff planning suicide.  My story written and acted was overwhelmingly saying how utterly…. utterly…utterly! useless I was.  A failure, a letdown, an embarrassment.  I had travelled down the line of less than and bounced around at the end of the line alone.  No one around me knew, I acted out another story to everyone else but inside I was falling deeper and deeper into despair. This is where my self-development journey started, and my first conscious course correct happened.  Along this slow journey out I came across a wonderful group and workshop run by Richard Wilkins.  We spent a week in a group workshop talking and working on the subject they called “the script”.  I passed with flying colours and was awarded Superhero status and I now include what I call the “narrative” as a subject in my MMA Mastery under the section Mindset. 

If you’ve found yourself writing a narrative that doesn’t serve you or that’s lead you down the path to consider suicide or self-harm in any option, then why not stop!  Consider using that creativity in writing and reverse engineer a different story that produces a different feeling.  

What's something that would allow you receive the gift of a giggle?

Questions to help you think differently:

• What areas of your narrative could do with re writing?
• What area of your life would like to change? And what change in narrative could help the situation?
• What narrative have you adopted from your parents or family that serves you well?
• What narrative have you adopted from your parents of family that does not serve you well?

Self-Worth is fundamental for someone to live a powerfully purposeful life.  Our optimum state is “enough”, no more, no less.  Unfortunately, our value of self is an inside job that only we control, growing up it can unknowingly get damaged, tarnished, distorted by other people’s opinions and the way they treat us. Our society and the people we spend time with, affect our inner integrity, and over time can this can be diluted until suddenly we begin to make decisions and choose from a value of “less than” enough.

On the tube this can take time, but the truth is once you realise you’ve stepped down the line of “less than” in life, you can return like Dorothy in the Wizard of oz.  She tapped her feet and said, “there’s no place like home”.  We can do the same, as we realise, we’ve been choosing something less than.  As you start to master this and you catch yourself you can stop, smile and then return to a place of choosing from a place of enough.

Another stop is “self-abuse” which takes you off to places such as overeating, self-harm, self-sabotage and many others. These elements in life can only be found through the line of less than. Would you choose that for someone you loved unconditionaly, so why do you accept it for you?

You may know someone with money, status that appears somehow "more than" you.  They may seem powerfully loud as they speak, drive their convertible around so everyone can see, flash expensive watch’s and desperate to tell everyone what their next big venture or purchase is. The truth is "more than" is a myth and something only found from the line of less than.  If you were enough you wouldn’t need to stand on tip toes to appear bigger.  You would simply be enough!! No more, no less, in whatever, wherever and with whoever you are in life.

Why not treat yourself to the permision to choose "Enough" for you and the decisions you make in life. 

Questions to help you think differently:

• How would you choose if you was coming from the line of enough?
• When thinking about a situation you feel maybe clouded with a lack of self-worth.  Ask yourself If you had a child or someone that you loved unconditionally, what would you choose for them to have or feel in that situation?

Parents, grandparents, teachers, family and friends inspire, coach, push, mentor or simply ordered us to work through any pain and fears to “grow up” in life. We step up through resistance and stretched through, to another level in some form or another.  This goes on over and over until we’ve reached a “certain standard” in life. Alone we'd have turned away, given up, taken our time, avoided or ignored this work until it went away, or maybe it would never have got done.  Luckily we don't see many 18 years olds crawling around with a dummies, being spoon fed, crying while they wait for food and generally struggling to function “properly” as an adult.  

Luckily while young, most of us were made to focus, push, endure until we came out the other side, bigger, brighter and all "grown up" apparently….and then what?

Working on myself or with clients I find as we grow we get to (what I call) the boo hoo's.  This points of uncomfortable stretch that’s the work in taking us further into a new dimensions and depth of self not explored before.  Just like a plant goes down into the dark, damp, depths of resistance to grow, we do the same.  Only then do we reveal hidden depth, beauty, creativity that’s been held within.

Breakthroughs come in moment of a clear pop or slow soft stretches that take us further than we've been before, through to the other side of who we are yet to be. If you think of the person you would like to be, the dreams, desires you seek in life.  Moving towards these will lead you to a choice, this is a choice you can avoid or one you can step up and into and that puts you in a point of stretch.  Like yoga it's about sitting in these limits long enough, simply breathing into the fears or attachments that want us to scream out boo hoo’s.

Keep going,  if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.

Questions to help you think differently:

• What's a goal that scares you enough to think or want to cry Mummy?
• Who would be a powerful mentor that could hold your hand and help you through to achieve a goal you have been putting off?
• If your still hiding behind your Mummy's skirt in life,  what are you hiding from?
• What area in your life would you wish your kids (real or imaginary) would grow to breakthrough to go further than you have in life?

When played well an instrument in tune, reveals something that’s been waiting to be accessed and enjoyed, it sits waiting for it's potential to be revealed in the mastery of well practiced hands of the player.

Questions to help you think differently:

• What's something you would regret not doing or trying in life if it was all over tomorrow?

• What's a goal that would make you giggle.  A project, mission that's maybe scary but exciting all the same?
• If you were hiding your true colours and decided to just fucking do it!! What would it be?